my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
