i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
