entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
