As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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