Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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