i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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