well you can't waste a boner
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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