you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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