btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
