We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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