I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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