Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
