If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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