Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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