Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
