I wish my penis had an off switch
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
