if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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