Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
