Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
