So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
