I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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