i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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