Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
