I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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