sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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