I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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