I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
