So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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