she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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