Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize