Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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