There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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