I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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