About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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