Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
