people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
