It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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