bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
