hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
ttyl tear gas
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
