they said they heard you say put it in my butt
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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