So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
