fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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