How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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