Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
