Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My balls are so social today.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
