Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
