You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
