I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
