It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
