you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
