Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
