why didn't you poke me back
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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