Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
