I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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