My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
