Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
