is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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