Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
