it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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