erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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