If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
