I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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