I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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