Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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