Whod you bang
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
